Lessons Away From Home

Growing old scares me because I’m afraid of the doors that will close as I age. I want to be able to stay up all night and feel mostly fine the next day or pack a bag and board a flight on short notice. As I get older, adventuring becomes harder—my friends will become more risk-averse, I won’t get to play the “young and dumb” card, and my responsibilities will only increase.

This semester, I stepped out of my comfort zone many times. I was rewarded with some amazing adventures, memories, and, most importantly, lessons.

Austin, Texas

In Texas, I learned that sneaking into places is a hidden pleasure of life. It can significantly expand the breadth of experiences available to me. While at the Formula 1 race, I visited the main grandstand, Tower Club Lounge, pit lane, paddock club, and even the Ferrari and Alfa Romeo garages. My experience at the race was beyond anything I imagined because I broke expectations—sometimes there are things I won’t even consider or imagine because I feel they are impossible to attain. My trip to Texas has helped me take down this barrier, and I think that the adventures available to me are much greater.

Los Angeles, California

In LA, I learned that talking to strangers can change your mind. In Ubers, at parks, and on the bus, the city is filled with people leading lives very different from mine. I met a musician who moved to LA to chase a girl but stayed and made a life. While hiking in Griffith, I met another musician who moved from Arizona with his band to try and make things work. What stood out the most to me is how these people had such different backgrounds and intense conviction in what they wanted to do with their lives. They don’t care about money or what other people expect from them. They’ve decided that they want to spend their life creating music and are willing to throw themselves at that goal.

Post-LA, I have been thinking about my convictions and trajectory in life. I previously wrote about wanting to “lean into” what I want to do. While listening to strangers’ stories in LA, I couldn’t help but envy their ability to lean in and wholly commit to something. As a student, I feel pressure to prioritize school, especially because my family is paying a ton of money to attend.

I even considered taking a leave of absence for a semester to fully lean into the personal projects that I want to pursue. However, conversations with some friends and my parents revealed that balancing commitments is an important skill. It may not be worth it to move a semester behind, especially when summer break presents a similar opportunity to work without school commitments.

In LA, I also gave myself evidence that social optionality works. In Texas, I met two students and convinced them to visit LA. Before LA, we had limited interactions with each other, but spending a weekend stuck together made us a lot closer. Now I feel like I’ve made two new good friends.

New York, New York

In NY, I learned that people are really chill. Inspired by Yes Theory, I wanted to visit NYC and ask strangers for a place to sleep overnight. My plan was to walk around Washington Square in the evening and ask college students if they had room. I felt anxious about asking people the whole day, and I tried to convince myself that I shouldn’t do it.

While I wasn’t successful in convincing someone to let me stay with them, I did embrace the discomfort and spent an hour in Washington Square asking people to crash. Every single person I talked to was incredibly understanding. While some may have thought it was unusual, nothing terrible happened. The vast majority of people in the world are chill and willing to have a conversation about almost anything.

Swarthmore, Pennsylvania

College is supposed to be a time of personal growth. However, this semester, most of my personal growth has occurred while not at school. I want to change that in the spring semester. My life at school is comfortable and insulated. While Swarthmore is a short train ride from Philly, the campus is isolated and can feel like a bubble. My routine this past semester did not include very much spontaneity. I feel like I’ve spent most of my time trying to find a solid group of friends, which has taken time from interacting with new and different people.

Obviously, the first semester will be full of adjusting and getting used to a new lifestyle. I want to build a higher baseline level of potential growth into my routine moving forward. More uncertainty, more serendipity, more discomfort, and more unexpected lessons.