I'm going to Portugal

I discovered Nathaniel Drew's YouTube channel during lockdown. His lifestyle of digital nomadism and slow travel sparked a curiosity in me to try the same. Since then, I've been thinking about my own long-term solo trip, and it's finally here.

Next week, I will be going to Lisbon, Portugal for a month all on my own. It's my first experience with solo travel and my first time living abroad for more than three weeks. It's also, at least I think it is, the scariest thing I've ever done (possibly influenced by recency bias). Some things I’m worrying about:

• The loneliness. I know it’s going to happen. To be in a country where you know no one, don't speak the language, and feel like an outsider will be a new challenge.

• Wasting my time. I’ve been thinking about and planning this trip for so long that there is no way it lives up to the hype.

• Missing out on everything back home. I want to see my friends and spend time after a year apart.

But if I don't go, I know I'll regret not giving solo travel a try. Since graduating high school, my super rough post-grad plan has been to spend a few years slow traveling through 5-10 cities, each for a few months. However, I'm not sure if this is something I'd actually enjoy or if I'm just attracted to the idea of it and over-romanticizing the lifestyle. I also know that as long as I'm not cooped up inside all day, any experiences will be valuable and the trip won't be a waste. I'm trying to approach this trip with the mindset that even if I hate it, it's valuable information for planning my life.

One real concern I have is making friends. I'm not naturally social or extroverted—I can already anticipate the resistance I will feel to putting myself out there. Apparently, visiting a foreign country is a totally different social dynamic because you know you won't ever see anyone again. I'm not sure how I buy this. If anything, I think having the shared identity of a traveler will make it easier to socialize with people in the same hostel. Kinda like orientation week at college—no one knows anyone, and you're all in the same boat. Even for someone like me, it was easy to go up to another student and just ask them "where are you from?" and start a conversation.

I've also noticed that I really hate looking like a tourist. Anywhere I go, I want to blend in, know the city, and navigate without constantly looking at Google Maps. Part of the reason why I'm staying for a whole month is that I want the feeling of being a local. Most vacations are too short for developing routines and discovering hidden gems. I want to find my favorite spots and build a foundation in Lisbon with the people I meet. Later in my life, I want to come back and walk through the neighborhoods with a sense of familiarity. I don't know why I want this, but something about giving a chunk of your life to a city feels special to me.

Moving somewhere new, whether in college or in "real" life, is an exercise in lifestyle design. There aren't many chances to hit reset on your life and reinvent yourself. It's hard to wake up and decide to be someone new, with new habits and routines because of all the external pressures and commitments that build up once you've settled somewhere. This trip abroad seems like a mini chance to reset. No one knows who I am, and there is no past version of myself to live up to. The only major commitment I have is my remote internship. Otherwise, I'm free to design a new lifestyle.

That said, I haven't done much itinerary planning because I don't want to have a set idea of what my experience should be, especially before I arrive. I want the space to mess up, explore, and do the unconventional. Another reason why I'm in one place for so long is that I don't want to feel pressured to always be doing something. Instead of constant FOMO, I want a slower trip and the time to take it in at my own pace. I've thought about setting some goals for the trip to keep me grounded, but I think whatever is in store for me is too difficult to predict for goals to be meaningful. For now, I only have two simple things that I'd like to accomplish.

1. Make one friend

I have a higher than average threshold for who I consider to be a friend, so this is a bit harder than it sounds. A big value proposition of living abroad is exposure to new perspectives. I think the best way to achieve this is by getting to know people who grew up differently in different parts of the world.

2. Try out surfing

For this one, I'm making the success condition to just surf at least once. The plan is to take a surfing class offered by one of the hostels I'm staying at. Assuming the weather works out, I give myself a >90% chance of success on this one.

Also, I need to learn Portuguese.